I just saw a hot homeless man
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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