We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
