i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
