Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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