Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
