I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
