Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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