your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize