This is not my ceiling
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
