omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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