At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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