My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
