So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
