He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
