I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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