I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
