Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
