Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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