i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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