ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
