I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize