she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Farmville is her only friend.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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