he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
