Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
