He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize