If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
