St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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