I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
