I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
