We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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