Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
