Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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