whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I party with great urgency now.
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