Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
