dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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