I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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