This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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