i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
