Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
