dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
