So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
