It's like a parade of train wrecks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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