Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
