to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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