Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
