I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
