Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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