The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
