Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Randomize
