I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
