We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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