Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
