Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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