Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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