Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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