Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
