There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
