hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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