u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
