Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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