what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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